So I just finished my shift at 9:15 and I've to get up for the morning shift at 5:30, so I'll make this quick. I just wanted to get it down before I forget.
At work, I sit at a desk in a row of three people, opposite three people. Mine is the only one that has this face-to-face action, and it tends to be the only one where anyone talks. I sit beside a girl named Robyn, the lovelier half of a pair of twins who work there, and an odd man named Donal who talks only about football, despite the fact that his knowledge appears to have stunted in about 1998. Opposite are a name-dropping failed RTE woman, our lovely supervisor Michelle, and an Italian man named Paolo who sounds exactly like Pat Kenny. Really.
Anyway, this week Donal hasn't been in and he has had his place taken by an odd man. He is Eastern European, and says hello in the morning with a big smile on his face, but after that affects a natural frown, while sitting perfectly still listening to what sounds like trumpets on his iPod. At lunch he appears to power down, sitting bolt upright doing precisely nothing, he doesn't even eat despite being the size of my apartment. He is a big old unit. Just envisage Zangeif from Street Fighter, right down to the goatee and speedos.
Anyway, Paolo was talking about food today, as usual, but he started a dick-swinging competition, er, with the girls about who had eaten the strangest and most delicious of God's creations. I threw down kangaroo, which I'm pretty sure could only be trumped by the sweetest meat of all (human). And with that, my dick swung around and the contest was over. So we just sat back for a moment to take it all in.
Then Zangeif turns to me, holding my gaze like a man about to set me on fire, and remember I didn't even know he spoke English, says, "You like brrrread, yis?"
Obviously he's twigged that we were talking about food. I said "yeah sure, whatever you want, just don't hurt me" or something like that. He's very large.
"Is good, make you big and strrrrong", he said, grinning like a Cheshire cat.
"You must eat a lot of it so, hahaha" I cowered in reply.
And then he said, "Yis, I like brrread verrry much". And to emphasise the point, whipped out what appeared to be one half of a loaf of uncut white bread and with a homp bit a chunk out of it, and ate it with his mouth open, still grinning at me. I was laughing so hard I nearly cried. A loaf of bread. Then he just put his earphones back in and went back to where ever he goes in there.
Zangief. What a man.
At work, I sit at a desk in a row of three people, opposite three people. Mine is the only one that has this face-to-face action, and it tends to be the only one where anyone talks. I sit beside a girl named Robyn, the lovelier half of a pair of twins who work there, and an odd man named Donal who talks only about football, despite the fact that his knowledge appears to have stunted in about 1998. Opposite are a name-dropping failed RTE woman, our lovely supervisor Michelle, and an Italian man named Paolo who sounds exactly like Pat Kenny. Really.
Anyway, this week Donal hasn't been in and he has had his place taken by an odd man. He is Eastern European, and says hello in the morning with a big smile on his face, but after that affects a natural frown, while sitting perfectly still listening to what sounds like trumpets on his iPod. At lunch he appears to power down, sitting bolt upright doing precisely nothing, he doesn't even eat despite being the size of my apartment. He is a big old unit. Just envisage Zangeif from Street Fighter, right down to the goatee and speedos.
Anyway, Paolo was talking about food today, as usual, but he started a dick-swinging competition, er, with the girls about who had eaten the strangest and most delicious of God's creations. I threw down kangaroo, which I'm pretty sure could only be trumped by the sweetest meat of all (human). And with that, my dick swung around and the contest was over. So we just sat back for a moment to take it all in.Then Zangeif turns to me, holding my gaze like a man about to set me on fire, and remember I didn't even know he spoke English, says, "You like brrrread, yis?"
Obviously he's twigged that we were talking about food. I said "yeah sure, whatever you want, just don't hurt me" or something like that. He's very large.
"Is good, make you big and strrrrong", he said, grinning like a Cheshire cat.
"You must eat a lot of it so, hahaha" I cowered in reply.
And then he said, "Yis, I like brrread verrry much". And to emphasise the point, whipped out what appeared to be one half of a loaf of uncut white bread and with a homp bit a chunk out of it, and ate it with his mouth open, still grinning at me. I was laughing so hard I nearly cried. A loaf of bread. Then he just put his earphones back in and went back to where ever he goes in there.
Zangief. What a man.
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4 comments:
Pat Kenny can be a silly billy but I can think of far worse people for an Italian to sound like. I bet this Paolo fella knows that it's pronounced Jerry Sign-felled and not fucking Jerry Sign-field.
A bloke I knew in Japan had a t-shirt with B.A. Baracus on it and everyone called it his Zangief t-shirt because they'd never seen the A-Team. Or Rocky. Or this. I'm not sure I want to live in a country where Zangief is a cultural icon but Mr. T isn't.
Clearly this man is a hero.
It sounds as though he is putting something extra in those big loafs, because as we all know white bread doesn't make you big and strong!!
http://www.antiaginglifeextension.com/health_matters_minutes/articles/white_bread.asp?a=1563&c=&p
Beth, the parade called, they want you to stop raining on them.
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