Far be it from me to actually enjoy something (how does that phrase go again?), but god did RTE get something right with that Teens in The Wild show. The show is based on one of the most toe-curlingly despicable acts of blatant car-crash voyeurism of all time, and I mean that. Think about that statement. Over the years, in Europe we're limited to the relatively recent past, reality TV has come up with some crazy concepts. There was the original talent show The Gong Show in 1970s America, which was hosted by Charles P. Barris, the author of lazily written cliché-fest autobiography Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. I'll stop you there. The opening paragraph to his autobiography stated: He claimed to have been a assassin, chaperoning Dating Game game show winners to exotic locales where he would murder on the CIA dime. The CIA deny this (but they would wouldn't they? *looks shiftily around room*), but the puerile entertainment bit is true. Although it did give birth to Gene Gene, the janitor who was pushed on stage when a show came up short on running time.
Barris' autobiography was so insane that Columbia bought film rights for it in the 80s, before letting them lapse. In the 90s a private producer bought them and commissioned Charlie "Being John Malkovic Malkovic? MALKOVIC!" Kaufman to write the script and he did, and it's a masterpiece. George Clooney came on to direct and really went his own way with it, and made it a little Hollywood, but showed incredible skill and showmanship, and you'll have to forgive me for liking hugely entertaining movies, but the end result is one of my favourite movies of all time., even if it tanked at the box office. Barris is still alive, surviving cancer. Other game shows he invented include the $1.98 Beauty Pageant and The Game Game, but they didn't make a movie about them so I don't really know anything about them. That's sort of true of most things in life. What is this "ketchup" everyone's so fond of? Anyway, basically, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind suggests that the audience is the real victim in Barris' crimes, whether real, imaginary or simply televisual.
What was I talking about? Oh yeah, reality TV. Charlie Brooker basically tells you how it works, generating drama and narrative in what is effectively the tightly controlled "reality" environment that doesn't actually exist on TV. Of course, there's that guy whose name escapes me who proved that the act of being observed serves to alter the behaviour of the subject. Therefore, the act of observing a person through a camera, i.e. filming a person, alters their state, meaning reality cannot be captured on film. Anyway, I can't remember that guy's name so take it away Charlie.
Anyway, not all of these kinds of programme are competitive, some of them are literal freak shows, only for some reason people are fully prepared to give up their anonymity and existing public perception for a short stint in front of the cameras. For example there's this:
It's impossible for me to watch that video and not hate the X Factor and everything it does and everyone who watches it and especially everyone who runs it. More so than that, I hate the fact that that clip makes me agree with Simon Cowell and his bizarre hair. But... what's this?
So what that means is that some filthy bastard saw those awful people on X Factor and thought those awful people, who pressurize their daughter to do something she's incapable and unwilling to do, now they deserve their own show. Sure, it's a show with them as pledge and punchline, but who are we to mock them? People like that are the fault of the collective reality audience, a Frankenstein's monster, both victim and villain. It's all a bit much. You could argue that there's a market for this kind of thing, and TV is one of the least adventurous industries there is, and the show wouldn't be made without one, and that market reaps what it sows. But still, my mind races.
Anyway, what RTE did, in their infinite unwisedom, was to create Teens in The Wild. It follows psychologist David Coleman, the man who somehow already got his own show where he was allowed to bring cameras into the homes of women who react to their child dropping yoghurt on the floor by threatening to break the child's back, as he treats a bunch of girls with only marginally more abrasive tendencies than any of the girls I've ever dated, in the wilds of Donegal. What an odd show. Is there no patient confidentiality in the psychology service? Or is it more to do with the fact that Coleman doesn't appear on the HSE's list of registered psychologists? Or perhaps it's telling that the third name on the end credits is for the show's solicitor. Either way, the girls on this have some real emotional issues, and those issues are being aired nationally.
And my god does that make for an entertaining show. TV in general is manufactured by women (or gay men) for women (and gay men), and it turns out that the 30 minute randomly changing emoticon that is Eastenders is a relatively accurate depiction of how girls behave. All the girls in TiTW (huh?) are all damaged to some degree by, in my mind, mildly difficult circumstances. They all hate one another. Then they all love one another. Then they all gang up on one member. It is quite simply, mental, but the emotions are all real, and they're all there, generally in your face shouting swears at you from beneath pencilled on eyebrows.
Anyway, if you want to see emotionally vulnerable people being put on display, and honestly who doesn't?, then you can watch every minute of it here (do it quick). I think the RTE player will work anywhere on earth, despite being a national broadcaster for Ireland and requiring Irish citizens to pay a licence fee for the joys of it on TV. All you free loading international moochers can also bask in the knowledge that RTE also has several American shows free for all to view, in contravention of basically every copyright law in existence in the television broadcasting subsection. Montrose, you've done it again.
My name is Charles Prescott Barris. I have written pop songs, I have been a television producer. I am responsible for polluting the airwaves with mindnumbing, puerile entertainment. In addition, I have murdered thirty-three human beings. I am damned to hell.
Barris' autobiography was so insane that Columbia bought film rights for it in the 80s, before letting them lapse. In the 90s a private producer bought them and commissioned Charlie "Being John Malkovic Malkovic? MALKOVIC!" Kaufman to write the script and he did, and it's a masterpiece. George Clooney came on to direct and really went his own way with it, and made it a little Hollywood, but showed incredible skill and showmanship, and you'll have to forgive me for liking hugely entertaining movies, but the end result is one of my favourite movies of all time., even if it tanked at the box office. Barris is still alive, surviving cancer. Other game shows he invented include the $1.98 Beauty Pageant and The Game Game, but they didn't make a movie about them so I don't really know anything about them. That's sort of true of most things in life. What is this "ketchup" everyone's so fond of? Anyway, basically, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind suggests that the audience is the real victim in Barris' crimes, whether real, imaginary or simply televisual.
What was I talking about? Oh yeah, reality TV. Charlie Brooker basically tells you how it works, generating drama and narrative in what is effectively the tightly controlled "reality" environment that doesn't actually exist on TV. Of course, there's that guy whose name escapes me who proved that the act of being observed serves to alter the behaviour of the subject. Therefore, the act of observing a person through a camera, i.e. filming a person, alters their state, meaning reality cannot be captured on film. Anyway, I can't remember that guy's name so take it away Charlie.
Anyway, not all of these kinds of programme are competitive, some of them are literal freak shows, only for some reason people are fully prepared to give up their anonymity and existing public perception for a short stint in front of the cameras. For example there's this:
It's impossible for me to watch that video and not hate the X Factor and everything it does and everyone who watches it and especially everyone who runs it. More so than that, I hate the fact that that clip makes me agree with Simon Cowell and his bizarre hair. But... what's this?
So what that means is that some filthy bastard saw those awful people on X Factor and thought those awful people, who pressurize their daughter to do something she's incapable and unwilling to do, now they deserve their own show. Sure, it's a show with them as pledge and punchline, but who are we to mock them? People like that are the fault of the collective reality audience, a Frankenstein's monster, both victim and villain. It's all a bit much. You could argue that there's a market for this kind of thing, and TV is one of the least adventurous industries there is, and the show wouldn't be made without one, and that market reaps what it sows. But still, my mind races.
Anyway, what RTE did, in their infinite unwisedom, was to create Teens in The Wild. It follows psychologist David Coleman, the man who somehow already got his own show where he was allowed to bring cameras into the homes of women who react to their child dropping yoghurt on the floor by threatening to break the child's back, as he treats a bunch of girls with only marginally more abrasive tendencies than any of the girls I've ever dated, in the wilds of Donegal. What an odd show. Is there no patient confidentiality in the psychology service? Or is it more to do with the fact that Coleman doesn't appear on the HSE's list of registered psychologists? Or perhaps it's telling that the third name on the end credits is for the show's solicitor. Either way, the girls on this have some real emotional issues, and those issues are being aired nationally.
And my god does that make for an entertaining show. TV in general is manufactured by women (or gay men) for women (and gay men), and it turns out that the 30 minute randomly changing emoticon that is Eastenders is a relatively accurate depiction of how girls behave. All the girls in TiTW (huh?) are all damaged to some degree by, in my mind, mildly difficult circumstances. They all hate one another. Then they all love one another. Then they all gang up on one member. It is quite simply, mental, but the emotions are all real, and they're all there, generally in your face shouting swears at you from beneath pencilled on eyebrows.
Anyway, if you want to see emotionally vulnerable people being put on display, and honestly who doesn't?, then you can watch every minute of it here (do it quick). I think the RTE player will work anywhere on earth, despite being a national broadcaster for Ireland and requiring Irish citizens to pay a licence fee for the joys of it on TV. All you free loading international moochers can also bask in the knowledge that RTE also has several American shows free for all to view, in contravention of basically every copyright law in existence in the television broadcasting subsection. Montrose, you've done it again.
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1 comments:
The international version of the RTE Player is very limited actually. It's got the Late, Late, the View, the news, Nationwide and a few holy programmes. And it keeps on pausing, despite having a very fast connection. Now, stop watching XFactor!
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